


Hey Moon

by The_Ravenclaw_Pirate



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Ice Cream, Inspired by Music, M/M, Music, Panic! at the Disco References, Sunsets, record store, vinyl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22076179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ravenclaw_Pirate/pseuds/The_Ravenclaw_Pirate
Summary: au where connor and evan were actually together, but connor still dies so evan doesn't end up lying when the musical happens. it's all a bit contrived but i went into the effort of writing some a while back so thought i'd put it somewhere.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote the first 4 chapters of this ages ago, so if the writing style suddenly changes, hopefully for better, it's because i'm older now. i'm so

Connor Murphy was dead. The words stung, bringing fresh tears to his eyes as he sat, alone, in his room. The lights were off. The curtains were drawn. His mom was out. Evan Hansen slowly curled into a ball and cried for another half hour before forcing himself to stop after hearing the familiar sound of his mother’s car pulling into the driveway and sat up, wiping his face with his arm. He looking in the mirror he had in his room, and studied his facial features that had the tell tale signs of an Intense Crying Session™, you know what they are. The bloodshot eyes. The runny nose. The blotchy face. His mom couldn’t see him like this, she’d go into Concerned Parent Mode™ and immediately assume Evan was having a mental breakdown, call his therapist, hover, constantly ask him questions, drive him to an actual mental breakdown. Luckily, he knew this so developed a method for hiding the visible signs of an Intense Crying Session™ last year when he had been re-watching _Friends_ and had gotten to season 10. He quietly and calmly stood up and walked to the bathroom. He splashed his face a few times with cold water to reduce the blotches then soaked a small towel in warm water and dabbed it a few times on each eye, then grabbed some toilet roll and blew his nose on it. All done. He walked back to his room, grabbed his iPod and put on a playlist. The first few guitar strums of the first song, _Northern Downpour_ by _Panic! At the Disco,_ sounded and Evan’s eyes brimmed with tears once again. This song, This was their song. It made him think of Connor. His smile. His hair. His clothes. His smell. Him. Evan hugged himself as more tears poured down his face. Connor. He stared at his cast, at his name written in his signature scrawl. But now he was gone.

_May 30th 2015_

_Jared’s a fan of rock, metal and generally emo bands, but he doesn’t look like it,_ Evan thought, as he sat in Jared’s car on their way to Jared’s favourite music store, _I think what he has is a Coldplay face? Is that what they call it? I don’t really know, though I personally don’t really see the appeal. We’ll probably look like lost 12 year olds. Oh God. People are gonna stare at us. We’ll be judged. Oh shit. Oh no. Why did I agree to this?,_ his vision slowly started to blur. His palms started to sweat. His eyes started brimming with tears. He gripped the edges of his seat and closed his eyes. “Hansen, you alright? You look a little freaked.” Jared said, quickly glancing at Evan through his peripheral vision.  
“Oh, uh, yeah, Kleinman, I’m fine.” Evan lied, trying to relax a little, which failed but at least he looked relaxed, right? Now he was thinking about that. _Shit_.

Evan followed Jared into the music store, _Misunderstood,_ to a satisfying ding. The store looked fairly normal. The floors were lacquered wood, much like the walls which were almost completely covered in band posters, they had everything from _Joy Division_ to _Fall Out Boy_ and from _Panic! At the Disco_ to _My Chemical Romance_ . The store was divided into different sections: Clothing, posters, CDs and vinyls. As for the people, there was one dude dressed in all black wearing guyliner browsing through the vinyls; there were a couple of girls around 12/13 who were wearing eyeliner and band t-shirts, both looking too happy to be fully indoctrinated into the emo world and last but not least, there he was. Connor Murphy. He was stood wearing black skinny jeans in a black jacket, flicking through the _Panic! At the Disco_ vinyls wearing his signature guyliner, his long, brunette hair draped over his shoulders, it was messy in a cute endearing way, quite a contrast to his otherwise icy exterior. When Evan saw him, his heart skipped a beat and he swore he saw stars around him, before Kleinman pulled him back into the real world.

“Hey, Hansen, let’s go look at the vinyls for _Fall Out Boy_ , every month I check back here to see if they have their new album in stock and every time is a bust, but I feel this is the time, so you start on one box and I’ll start on another. If all else fails, we’ll see if there are any vinyls for _Panic_ , okay? I don’t have all of theirs yet either” Jared asked, walking, with Evan in tow, to the vinyl section where the _Fall Out Boy_ boxes were. They both immediately started sifting through the boxes, Jared’s trained fingers sorting with incredibly impressive speed.

“FUCK YES!” Jared shouted, pulling out the vinyl case and holding it dramatically in the air, “God I’ve been looking for this fucking thing since January. Listen, Ev, since I’m in such a good mood, lets see if I can get 2 vinyls today, you start next to silent, moody dude and I’ll start elsewhere.” Jared ordered, walking over to another box labeled ‘Panic! At the Disco’. Evan gingerly walked over to the box and started sorting through, stealing the occasional glance at him.

“Hey, you like _Panic_ too?” Connor asked, looking at Evan sideways as he continued to browse.

“Oh, uh, not really I’m just here with, uh, my friend, I’ve never actually listened to them.” Evan replied, sweating though he didn’t know why.

“Right, what kind of music do you like then?” Connor asked, continuing to browse.

“Oh, I like jazz. So, uh, why do you, um, like _Panic_?” Evan asked, also trying to browse but fumbling over it with nervousness.

“I really love their songs, they just speak to me. Oh, I’m Connor Murphy by the way.” Connor said, smiling a little.

“Evan Hansen.”

“Right, Evan, you’re going to have to listen to _Panic_ at some point, so how about we exchange emails and get together sometime to do that?”

“Uh, alright, do you have something I can write on?” Evan asked, taking a pen out from his pocket.

“Aw shit no, just write it on my arm.” he said, rolling up his his left sleeve and holding it out to be written on, then pulling the sleeve back over his arm quickly. Evan did the same, except with the right sleeve of his blue cardigan.

“So, Evan, does your friend you’re here with like _Panic_?” Connor asked, smiling a little.

“Oh, uh, yeah, he sent me over here, actually, to gather intel on which albums they had since he doesn’t have them all yet.” Evan explained, sweating little and hoping it wasn’t noticeable.

“Right, well over here is the box that has their album _Pretty. Odd._ , A.K.A the album where Ryan Ross discovered _The Beatles_. Personally, I think it’s the best one, every track is a great tune, though every time I come in here, I’m a regular, I see that cashier judging me because he thinks, like a lot of others, that _Vices & Virtues_ is the best one, but you see every song in _Pretty. Odd._ is written by the wonderful lyricist, Ryan Ross, who lends his voice to a few of the tracks giving it a more whimsical feel and makes it less showy, not that Brendon’s voice and delivery is bad, he just has a theatre voice and Ryan’s soft tones are more suited to some of the songs. I’m not saying by any means that the cashier is totally wrong, _Vices & Virtues_ is an incredible album, I just prefer _Pretty. Odd._. Sorry, I’m just really passionate about _Pretty. Odd._ , it’s the first one I listened to and why I fell in love with _Panic._ ” Connor, gesturing wildly with his hands from the box, to his head, to his ears, to his heart, to the box again and to the cashier before gesturing to the box once more and smiling, a hint of blush colouring his otherwise pale appearance.

“Nah it’s fine, I quite like hearing you talk about it, actually. I love it when people just talk about what they’re passionate about, it’s really inspiring.” Evan replied, snapping out of his trance of smiling dreamily at Connor as he talked and talked about an album he had never listened to but still felt as though it was the best album in the world.

“Well I’m glad I’ve inspired you.” Connor said, smiling goofily and prompting a nervous laugh from Evan.

“Ha, well, maybe you could talk about it more, say, Thursday at a location you can email me about?” Evan asked, sweating a lot more, attempting to play it all smooth and casual, like indirectly asking a dude on a date was no big thing, despite him definitely being straight.

“Sure, I’ve got your details, I’ll see you Thursday.” Connor said, waving goodbye before walking out the store. Evan watched him leave before snapping back to the task at hand and started fumbling around with the vinyls in the box, thinking about Connor and the impending email.


	2. First Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eyyy first email exchange for the boys. please forgive the shitty email addresses i was 13 when i came up with them.

To:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com   
](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com) From: 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com

Dear Evan Hansen,

Hey, is this working? Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Read, Ev, if you’re the blue dude from  _ Misunderstood _ , you can reply to my email with the answer to this question:

Which  _ Panic! At The Disco _ album is my, Connor Murphy’s, favourite?

Sincerely, me

* * *

To:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com   
](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com) From:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com ](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com)

Dear Connor Murphy,

If I remember correctly, your favourite album by the band of many genres (I looked it up),  _ Panic! At The Disco _ is  _ Pretty. Odd. _

Sincerely, me (I like that tagline, it’ll be our thing)

* * *

To:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com   
](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com) From:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com ](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com)

Dear Evan Hansen,

Wrong! It’s actually  _ Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die _ . Dude I’m totally joking, you’re correct. Right, I guarantee you won’t have heard of the place I want us to go to, so instead I’m going to pick you up outside  _ Misunderstood _ , because we both know where it is and there’s no way I could possibly be more clear about where we’re going to meet. I’ll pick you up outside the entrance to  _ Misunderstood _ at 2pm, don’t be late. Got it?

Sincerely, me

* * *

To:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com   
](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com) From:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com ](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com)

Dear Connor Murphy,

Got it like a cold. To be clear, I don’t have a cold, I thought I’d do a saying thing. I apologise for my social incompetence.

Sincerely, me


	3. The Only Difference Between Closing the Numbered Door and Lying About the Snacks

Evan sat up and wiped the rest of tears from his face, once again doing the routine for after the Intense Crying Session ™ before returning to his bed just as  _ Fly With The Wind _ ended and  _ Sarah Smiles _ began. He bounced up and down to the chorus, closing his eyes and blocking out the rest of the world, losing himself in the music. He started singing along into a hairbrush, standing up on his bed and belting out the lyrics. But then it ended. And he was suddenly just an idiot stood on his bed holding a hairbrush. He stepped off just as his mother, Heidi, entered the room. 

“Hey, honey, you alright bud?” she asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah, mom, I’m fine. Just listening to some music.” Evan answered, sitting down, readying himself for another forced conversation prompted by his mother reading too many parenting magazines.

“Great. I heard it, I didn’t know you liked rock music.” she said, zooming in on a miniscule, unimportant detail as  _ Parenting: The Guide to Teens _ had advised her.

“Oh, uh yeah, my friend-” time slowed down as Evan paused, thinking whether or not to lie to his mom about having a secret boyfriend, who was now dead and then brave the tidal wave of hovering he would be ambushed with if she knew, and he wasn’t really ready to tell people about The Bisexual Thing™, “Jared Kleinman introduced me to this band,  _ Panic! At The Disco _ . I really like their stuff.” Evan replied, sweating just a teensy bit.

“Really? I didn’t expect a kid like Jared to like that kind of music.”   


“Yeah, I was surprised about that too, I think it’s because he kind of looks like a Mormon child or a kid from another branch of Christianity.” Evan joked, attempting to humour her to try and get her to leave before a song like  _ Lying is the Most Fun Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off _ came on.

“Right, well, I’ll leave you to your music alright kiddo.” Heidi said, tapping Evan on the shoulder and leaving the room. 

After he heard her take the last step of the stairs, he flopped back onto his bed with a sigh. Then he heard the first few words of  _ There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered _ and he couldn’t contain the grin that spread across his face like a rash, remembering their first day out together, when they listened to the album  _ A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out _ and danced around. When he started having  _ those _ feelings. He closed his eyes, remembering the taste of the salted caramel ice-cream, the scent of the trees, the summer sun. It was just perfect.

_ June 4th 2015 _

It was 1:55 pm on Thursday and Evan had already been waiting outside  _ Misunderstood _ for 10 minutes. He checked his watch. Still 3 more minutes. No sign of Connor. Evan was a little on edge though, even though he was still early. 1:59 pm. 1 more minute.  _ God, _ he thought as he stood outside the store, silently,  _ I must look awkward _ . And while he did look a little odd and was visibly uncomfortable, he would have looked out of place in the store. Suddenly, a black Honda Civic pulled up in front of him. The window rolled down and he stuck his head out the window and shouted to Evan. 

“Hey, Ev, get in, you’re riding shotgun.” he said, smiling subtly. 

Evan silently got into the passenger seat after waving at Connor. 

“Where we going then?” he asked, fastening his seatbelt.   


“We got 2 stops today. First we’re going to this awesome ice-cream place,  _ À La Mode _ , then we’re going to the orchard.” Connor replied, starting to drive, not even needing directions, he knew exactly where he was going.

“Which orchard?”

“Oh, this orchard that closed years ago. It did the best apples, but I’ve been there a few times, alone. It’s real secluded, man, perfect place to listen to music.” he grinned, giving Evan a quick glance.

“Cool. Which album?” Evan asked, pinching the edges of his seat nervously.

“ _ A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out _ . It’s the first one, it’s great but  _ Pretty. Odd. _ is still better.”

“Right,  _ Pretty. Odd. _ A.K.A the album where Ryan Ross discovered  _ The Beatles _ .” Evan joked, thinking back to the previous Saturday, when they met.

“Haha, yeah. You see, we’re going to listen to them in order. After each album, we’ll discuss. Then next time we go out, we’ll do the same. Simple.” Connor said, making a right.

“Wow, you have it all figured out. Are there any friends you have, Murphy?” Evan joked.

“Ha, very funny Ev, but no. I figured you looked lonely too, so we’ll be friends, okay?”

“Great.”

“Great. Also, don’t call me Murphy, I hate my family and my last name tethers me to them indefinitely.” Connor said, taking a left a little more aggressively than the others.

“That’s an odd thing to say, but I respect that, Connor.” Evan said, instantly regretting everything.

Connor almost forgot to park as he pulled into the small parking lot in front of  _ À La Mode _ . He quickly parked, then hopped out the car and almost locked Evan inside, who had only just undone his seatbelt. 

“Hurry up, slowpoke.” Connor jibed playfully, as Evan got out the car and closed the door. 

Connor made Evan wait by the car while he got the ice-cream since he allegedly knew all the best flavours and Evan ‘couldn’t be trusted to pick for himself’. He emerged from the store a few minutes later, 2 sugar cones with single scoops in hand. 

“What flavour are they?” Evan asked, accepting the cone that Connor passed to him.

“Salted caramel. While it’s impossible to get salted caramel wrong, none of them can compete with this, it’s so good.” Connor explained, taking a lick and smiling before starting to devour his ice-cream like a small child.

Evan gingerly gave his a lick, before his mouth was enveloped with the taste of the single most delicious thing he had ever tasted. He understood Connor’s devouring now and started to do it too. In just a couple of minutes, the ice-cream was gone and he was taking bites out the cone. 

“Jesus Christ Evan, hungry?” Connor asked jokingly, finishing off his cone and tossing the napkin in a conveniently nearby trash can.

“Oh my God that was incredible.” Evan said, nearing the end of his cone.

“I know right. Here, you got some on your nose.” Connor said, wiping the ice-cream from the tip of Evan’s nose and rubbing it from his finger. They held eye contact for a few seconds before looking away, embarrassed. 

“Right, Ev, let’s go.” he said, unlocking the car and hopping in, followed by Evan.

After they got out the car, Connor swiftly grabbed Evan’s hand and led him through the rows and rows of trees, the sweet smell of them lingering in the air despite them being out of business for some time. Connor led the pair down a complicated path until they got to a small clearing. Connor let go of Evan’s hand and sat down, leaning his back up against a tree, patting the space next to him. Evan sat next to him as he pulled out his iPod, finding the album with minimal messing around and playing it. “Evan, the next 40 mins will have no talking, though laughing is permitted, but no discussion, just lose yourself in the music.” Connor explained as  _ Introduction _ began. And as the songs played and they listened to Brendon Urie’s beautiful voice, Evan’s mind was blown, he never knew music could be like this. It was truly incredible. The lyrics were clever and the music itself was amazingly mesmerising. Then, at the chorus of  _ There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered _ , Connor suddenly stood up, took Evan’s hands and started dancing around. Evan was forced to join in, which he was freaked out about, but as Connor so carelessly lost himself in the music, Evan relaxed and started to lose himself too, until the song ended and they both collapsed on the floor, laughing.

“So, what did you think?” Connor asked after the album ended.

“That was awesome.” Evan replied with full sincerity.

“I know.”

“Why’d you ask then?”

“Wanted confirmation. You sure you haven’t listened to  _ There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered _ before? You’re a pretty good dancer.” Connor asked, propping himself up on his elbows before he properly sat up.

“You’re not too bad yourself, but I really haven’t, I just lost myself in the music.” Evan replied, grinning.

“Alright, which one’s your favourite track?”

“Hmmm, the tables one.”

“Mine too.”

“Ha that’s interesting.”

“Yeah, um, want to walk around then?” Connor asked, standing up and extending his hand. Evan nodded, taking his hand and using it to stand up before he was led around the orchard. They talked about a lot of stuff, starting with  _ Panic _ but progressed into life ambitions until they reached a meadow framed with sycamore trees and sat down under one, talking some more. Eventually, the conversation came to a bit of a lull and Connor looked at Evan, who was looking up at the clouds. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Connor asked.

“Hmm?”

“The sky. I often stick around until sunset when I come here, It’s beautiful to watch the sun set over the trees. The colours blending together in seemingly impossible ways that no picture or paintbrush could ever truly capture.”

“Wow. You could be a poet.” Evan said, looking up at Connor with full sincerity.

“I’m not sure, I don’t think ‘Connor the poet’ really has a ring to it.” Connor laughed, smiling a little bit.   


“Ha, maybe not, but what you said is really beautiful.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you actually came, though, I never get to come here with anyone. I’m glad I got to share it with someone.” he said, blushing lightly.

“No, thank you for bringing me, it’s beautiful and I really enjoyed the music.” Evan replied, smiling a little more at him. Connor smiled back before quickly looking away and blushing. 

Evan leaned back a little, resting his back against the tree and looking up at the setting sun, seeing exactly what Connor meant. It truly was beautiful, the oranges around the sun itself fading into a lighter blue with a hint of purple in between, clouds becoming dark purple silhouettes against the evening sky. It truly was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, he glanced over at Connor, who too was admiring the sunset, a small smile on his face, the reflection of the ever changing colours and clouds dancing in his eyes, his fluffy brown locks spilling over his shoulders in such an effortlessly perfect way, you would have been a fool not to fall in love with him right there and then. Evan blushed before quickly turning back to the sunset, studying its beauty even further, distracting himself from Connor, who had just turned his head to look at Evan. 

“We should come here again some other time, though I think to mix it up a bit, we should meet at my place, then we can listen to  _ Pretty. Odd. _ on vinyl, the way it was meant to be listened to-”

“Really?”

“Yeah it’s so Beatles-y™. I’ll email you my address and time when I get home, though it will be short notice and if my family do come home while you’re there, you can’t make a peep, I don’t want them prying into my life, okay?” Connor explained.

“Right, got it.”

“Like a cold.” Connor joked, laughing a little before also leaning back against the tree. They were silent for a while, studying the stars and, occasionally, each other.

At around 7, they got up and walked back to the car, Connor dropping Evan off outside his house. When Evan walked into his room, he practically fell down on his bed, smiling at the day, relishing in the fact that he had finally found a real friend.


	4. The Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look more emails. hope yall are enjoying this fic so far.

To:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com   
](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com) From:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com ](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com)

Dear Evan Hansen,

I think tomorrow is a good opportunity to come to my place. We’re going to our grandparents for the weekend, I can get out of it. I’ll pick you up at  _ Misunderstood _ at 11.

Sincerely, me

* * *

To: [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com   
](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com) From:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com ](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com)

Dear Connor Murphy,

Sounds great. What’s your plan to get out of seeing your grandparents?

Sincerely, me

* * *

To:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com   
](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com) From:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com ](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com)

Dear Evan Hansen,

I’m so glad you asked, I need a second opinion on it anyway. So, I’ve got a great excuse, saying that I got a job at  _ Misunderstood _ and that I’m really passionate about working there but I can’t get the weekend off because my colleague, Keith, is at Madison then. They’ll totally eat it up to see me interested in something other than staying up in my room, so I’m covered. It truly is genius, if I do say so myself.

Sincerely, me

* * *

To:  [ 9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com   
](mailto:9.in.the.afternoon@Gmail.com) From:  [ treeboi@Gmail.com ](mailto:treeboi@Gmail.com)

Dear Connor Murphy,

That plan is bulletproof, I’m proud of you dude. See you tomorrow.

Sincerely, me


	5. The Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're driving to connor's house. this was written more recently than the other chapters, so it'd be good to see if anyone thinks my writing has improved or something. maybe it got worse. that's for you to decide.

As  _ There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered _ faded out, Evan sat down on his bed, his face like a chilli. It was very tiring dancing around to that song. He was quite lucky now, he thought to himself as the first few bars of  _ Folkin’ Around _ rang out. This was a comparatively chill one. Honestly the entire album of  _ Pretty. Odd. _ is very chill. Evan laughed to himself a little as  _ Folkin’ Around _ faded into  _ The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know _ , thinking about what Connor had said as they were driving to his house to listen to  _ Pretty. Odd. _ on vinyl. Then he stopped, realising he would never say anything like it again. And how much he missed him saying little things like that. Then  _ Pas De Cheval _ began, and Evan couldn’t help but smile.

_ 13th June 2015 _

It was 11am. Evan was stood outside Misunderstood, again, waiting for the black Honda Civic to appear. He was fidgeting slightly, like normal. Humming and whistling various random songs, but never enough to be considered a proper rendition. He tapped his fingertips impatiently against the smooth, white wall he was stood against. 

11:02am was the time, according to the 7th check of his watch.  _ 2 minutes late. No biggie, _ thought Evan, lying through his subconscious’s teeth. It was no biggie to normal people. He watched his digital watch pass over to 11:03, his tapping spouts becoming more frequent and quicker.

The Honda Civic pulled up at 11:04. The window was slowly cranked down to reveal a mop of medium brown hair belonging to a boy whose exact words were “Get in, loser, we’re going shopping”, before breaking into a grin. Evan smiled back gingerly and complied immediately, deciding he would ride shotgun again.

“How goes it?” Connor asked, starting the car almost immediately after Evan had closed his door.

“It goes fine.” Evan replied, nodding, “How about you?”

“Great, just great.” Connor replied, gritting his teeth a little and digging his black polished nails into the steering wheel, the car speeding up slightly.

They sat in silence for a minute or 2 before Evan started tapping his leg a little.

“What are you tapping?” Connor asked, not even glancing at Evan.

“Huh?”

“What are you tapping? Like, what song if any at all?”

“Oh, just some  _ Panic! _ .  _ Camisado _ , I think.” Evan replied, shrugging.

“That one’s severely underrated.” Connor commented, not once glancing at Evan while chewing his lip slightly, "But you're gonna _love_ _Pretty. Odd._ It's such a weird and wonderful album, it's my favourite. It's very kinks-y-"

"Kinky? Wow Connor I didn't take you for-" Evan joked, smiling like the 12 year old whose sense of humour he'd borrowed.

"No, like the band _The Kinks_. Kinks-esque, that's more accurate. It's often referred to as the album where Ryan Ross discovered The Beatles." Connor stated, a little defensively, he was a little taken aback by Evan's joke.

"Which one's Ryan Ross again?" Evan asked, innocently. To his credit, they hadn't really discussed the members of _Panic!_ much.

"Ryan Ross was the lyricist for their first 2 albums, and the guitarist too. He left after _Pretty. Odd._ with the bassist John Walker, who had replaced Brent Wilson from _Fever_. Dallon Weekes has since replaced Jon. The drummer was Spencer Smith, but he left back in April. The one original member left is Brendon Urie, who is the vocalist and dabbles in most instruments, though he mostly just sings. Got it?" Connor explained, after a sigh, with the passion that a palaeontologist has for dinosaurs. This was his bread and butter.

They sat in silence again for about half a minute.

“Why?” Evan enquired.

“What do you mean why?”

“Why did you ask what song I was tapping?”

“Does it matter? I just felt like asking it, it’s a valid question.”

“Oh, sorry, it’s just no one’s ever asked about the songs I tap before. They usually just ask me to stop or glare at me a little. Jared nudges me.” Evan replied, quickly, as he often does when nervous.

“No need to apologise, Ev. Who’s Jared?”

“Jared Kleinman. He’s who I went to  _ Misunderstood _ with the day we met. I would probably best describe him as my best friend, considering he’s my only other friend, but he’s only really friends with me so his dad pays for his car insurance or something.” Evan replied, speaking quickly once again, worried he was oversharing.

“Oh, that’s sad. I don’t really have any other friends either. The last best friend I had ditched me when I came out to him. But I trust you, so do you want to be best friends?” Connor said, briefly glancing at the other boy with a slight smile.

“Yeah, yeah I think I’d like that.” Evan replied, smiling back at Connor widely.

They pulled up into the drive of Connor’s house after 10 seconds of silence. Evan was so in awe, he could barely resist the urge to say ‘wow’. His house was so beautifully unexpected. Evan knew he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but Connor’s hair, attire and music taste didn’t exactly scream “boy from the rich side of town”. His aura didn’t even whisper it. Connor parked the car, his brow furrowed and bottom lip being chewed profusely.

“What’s up?” Evan questioned, a concerned lilt added to his voice.

“Nothing, I’m fine. I just don’t really like it here.” Connor replied.

Evan began to reach for his door handle, before Connor interrupted, deadly serious.

“Right, before we even get out of the car, a few ground rules. Rule 1, do not, under any circumstance, tell anybody where I live. Rule 2, my parents cannot know you were ever here. If they return whilst we are listening to  _ Pretty.Odd. _ , you are to either sneak out, if possible, or hide until it is possible for me to sneak you out. And rule 3, shoes off at the door. Due to the return of my parents and sister being entirely possible and my wish to conceal your presence, you should pick up your shoes and bring them to my room. I can’t have you walking on the carpets in shoes, my mother would blame me immediately and I don’t want any grief from her right now. Any questions?” Connor stated

“Yeah. Why don’t you want your parents to see me?” Evan asked, only after he asked the question realising how awful the answer may be.

“Right, let me be real with you. I do not get on with my parents, we do not have a good relationship. I want to keep my private social life separate from them, so they know nothing of my friends and when I leave, I probably won’t talk to them at all apart from holidays, weddings, and funerals. I don’t want them prying, they will ruin it as they always have done. You may not understand, but I don’t want their input at all, they’ll invite you for dinner, it’ll be awkward, all the questions, I don’t want to deal with it.” Connor replied, almost shouting and gesticulating wildly so he was almost shaking by the end.

They got out of the car almost simultaneously and walked up the pebble path to his front door, which he unlocked and opened, taking his shoes off on the mat and placing them inside on another mat. He held the door open for Evan, who mimicked his friend and walked into the house, which was even more fancy than the front lawn. Connor closed the door behind them and took Evan by the hand, leading him up the stairs to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that, and sorry for the long wait lol i've been writing about the mafia and space pirates instead of this. hopefully won't be long for another update.


End file.
